babymittens

I started off happy today. I went to my favorite LSS and I got to go to the Bookfest at Suntec. Bought many craft books for a bargain, and was really happy with my buys.


Then for some reason I quarreled with mom again. I didn't realised that mom felt certain ways about what I said in anger or spite about someone else. She took it quite hard.


Then Kate really started to get on my nerves. And after that, thinking hubs can spend some time with me, he went to sleep.


Then for some reason I started thinking back to the past few weeks happenings. And I realised something. He doesn't seem to like spending time with us, particularly me. Not that he would show a face or anything. Just that its a vibe. I think he finds it a chore and quite stressful. Just like his work. And every other off day, he's always "Is it ok if I go play mahjong? Or drink?" Or something. I mean, its about once a week. I know he has to de-stress. I just find it sad that being with me in the past was destressing and uplifting to him; now obviously its not. Not that I blame him.


So. Tonight, I have come to realised two things. And I've decided that well... its ok. I can just skip the whole quality time thing because I know you are not interested and I don't wanna force anyone to do anything, for/with me. (I'm in no way angry, just bit hurt, sad & stating the facts) I'm a very self-awared and intuitive person. It's ok. Seriously.


You know, I read this somewhere. And I totally agree with it.
A cheerful, happy person vs a depressed or bitter person. Of course, its so much easier to love the former. But its the latter that needs more of it.


But tough. Screw it. Because I seriously don't wanna dwell on all of that.