The one with lots of lazing around

Been lazing around for awhile... Wanted to arrange Kate's pics to post up here, along with pics of her presents & our outings but so lazy le!


Kate can now call me "Ma ma!" So happy! Plus she sound so sweet when she calls me. *Beams*


Poor gal caught a cold, & was quite the sick monster the past few days. Finally she seems much better today. But still very grouchy... Hate having to grab her cheeks & force feed her medicine. Poor gal will scream her lungs out & try desperately to hide in the crook of my arms. To no avail... heh.

The one with more quarrels

I quarreled with my mom today. And with hubs yesterday. I think I just need to quarrel with a few others, before the boxes on my list is all ticked... kidding. Sigh.

So sick of everything suddenly. Turning to more comfort food again.

The one with the beautiful video

I'm very happy today!


Met up with Fanni & Yvonne & had a lovely dinner at TCC. It was really great for me, since I didn't really think bout Stella.


Fanni presented me with another present for Kate today; a homemade video, compiling all Kate's pictures from birth. It was beautiful! & very touching to me. She decorated the cd cover with sequins and all, which is so what I'm into nowadays; self-creation thingys! This is what she said in the video...


"Hello Mama, Papa & baby Kate! Foremost, a very happy birthday to little rugrat Kate, who've since grew so much, from the 1st time I saw her. She's been an absolute darling to all of us...no doubt about that!


Just wanna let you guys know that you've done a really great job as a parent! Showerin' unconditional love, giving up lotsa things...
Whatever stress your going thru Mama, hang in there! I'm always just a call away should you need a listening ear...


I honestly have no idea how it feels like to be a parent, & I reckon it isn't easy... But looking at the Han family never fails to make me go green & I tell myself that someday, I hope I'd have a family like yours too..=)"


You know, when I read that second paragraph, I almost cried. It just felt nice to know that someone is acknowledging all the hard work & love you have put into raising your little one...& the fact that a friend is also affirming the fact that she's just a call away. It was something I really needed to hear right now. It's strange how comfort comes in the strangest & least expected ways. The other day, just after my quarrel with Stella, Ken's cousin also chatted with me on msn & said she was just a call away, should I need her. It meant alot to me...


As I look at a sound asleep Kate, it boggles my mind how time flies. She's one today... & a year ago this time, hubs & I were in the delivery suite, waiting anxiously to meet her for the first time. I remember the initial stage where I thought I would never make it through, that I would just die from all the stress & anxiety of being a new parent; every little thing scared me, & even breathing seemed so tough & strange for the little newborn. I thought I would never cope...& even refused to let mom go anywhere. Just wanted her to be with me & make sure everything was ok. I remember that hubs & I didn't dare to be alone with Kate for long, for fear that should she cry, we would not be able to cope. Whenever mom was around, we felt better, like we could breathe easy - backup's there. Dad was right. He told me one day, that I'll learn to cope by and by...


I really do feel so blessed. Despite all the frustrations of giving up my freedom, & all the times I feel like I would go insane, she's really brought alot of joy to us & I know I wouldn't exchange her for anything. Whenever she hugs or kisses me, I feel like the most important person in the world. Just yesterday morning, while I was sleeping, she crawled over to me, spit her pacifier on my face,(which woke me up!) & planted a huge kiss on me. When I looked at her, she gave me a big grin, & I remember feeling so loved, because it was such a random act of love, but means so much! It's like, she woke up, saw that I was still sleeping, & came over to kiss me just because.. if you get what I mean.


I feel so very blessed. I may not have a lot, not in quantity anyway, & perhaps I don't feel understood all the time (who does, anyway?) but I sure am surrounded by people who loves me. & I'm glad. It gets so hard sometimes...

The one with more whining =)

I feel like such a loser. Hmmm. I keep thinking bout Stella. Not the whole day, but occasionally throughout the day. Idiotic right? I mean, she's totally cut me off. & she's probably not even thinking bout anything that's related to me. Maybe when she's flipping through her wedding pics, when she sees a pic with my face, she's like, hmm, yucks, turn page over. *Groan* What the hell is wrong with me?!
&%@*@


Can someone please tell me why? Why she so easily just cut me out?


Hubs thinks it's no biggie. He thinks since she wants to be like this, I should just ignore her & forget it. But... k. Better not think. Make me wanna burst into tears AGAIN.


Keep talking bout her. I'm so pathetic.


Anyway! Kate! Can't stand her and all her silliness. She refused to offer her grandma any strawberry just now, for fear my mom will take it away from her. She's very adorable, she can fake laughter! Damn cute. She tried to take away my specs just now, and the moment she did, she hug me and buried her face into mine. So I realised why she's always trying to take my specs away when we lying down. When I laughed, (Very ticklish le) she looked at me & started her fake laughing too. Can't stand her. That night when I was crying & holding her, she just ly quietly in my arms. When hubs came up & comforted me, she turned to him & raised her arms as though to ask him what happened. Hee. I love her. She took an hour to get to sleep just now. Tossed and turned & played with the pillows.


Ooh! Weds morning, 3am to 5am, we are going to japanese garden! To see the meteor shower and Kate's been given the permission to come along! (By her grandma, haha) Details below...


Leonids Meteor Shower Gazing




The Science Centre Singapore and TASOS are celebrating the International Year of Astronomy (IYA) 2009 with a big bang. The stars of the show are forecasted to be a meteor storm that will happen between 3am to 5am.

Astronomers have predicted that the annual Leonids might put up the most dramatic light show not seen in recent years as the earth passes close to the centre of the comet’s debris trail laid down in 1466. The ideal locations for viewing are in Asia and North America.

On stage, there will be performances by Kenji Williams, an audio visual art performer, while offstage, visitors will be entertained by the Science Buskers. For astronomy buffs, an accompanying meteorite exhibition, a talk by TASOS, on-site telescope viewing of the planet Jupiter and inflatable planetarium tours for children will also be held.


Time: 8pm – 5am (*8pm – 2am: activities / 2am – 5am: free & easy)

 Start Time: Tuesday, November 17, 2009 at 8:00pm


End Time: Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 5:00am


Location: Japanese Gardens


Read more: http://astronomy.sg/archives/563#ixzz0Wr9IbTGV



I can't wait. It's a meteor shower le! Plus it's happening just after Kate's birthday...=)

The one with the custom-made something

Which should I get? Custom made bracelet or necklace?
I want something which signifies little Kate. I would love a tattoo, but that's against what I believe. Hmm... anyway when I decide & it's done, will post a picture of it here & the lovely lady's website from which I ordered it from.


I think I'm used to sleeping very late already. Don't wanna go to bed yet. Sigh. Kate got beaten twice today, little rascal don't want to sleep & keep being naughty. I got to hit her hard, since when I don't, she actually smiles at me, thinking I'm playing with her. If you want to hit your kid, make sure they cry upon being hit. If not, it defeats the purpose. Sounds cruel right? I heard from someone, & thought it cruel. Then after much thought, it makes sense.


Last night, Kate woke up & started playing at hub's side, so I put my finger to my lips & said to her, "Shhhh! Daddy sleeping..." She followed my handsign & poked her finger against her nose. This evening when I said "Shhh!" again, she poked her finger up her nose, haha! Then later that night, when she saw hubs sleeping, she turned to me & put her finger to her nose again & smiled. Can't stand children; what joy they bring! I need to upload her pictures from her party soon... =) How time flies, Kate's one!

The one with the grieving

The whole day today, I slept & slept. Couldn't be bothered to do anything. & trust me, there are loads to do. I kept screaming at Kate, & hubs couldn't take it.


Finally, when I checked my facebook, I realised Stella had deleted me from her friends list. That, was the last straw. Crying, I went to have a smoke. & I thought to myself, why is she doing all this to me? She keeps doing thing after thing to prove to me that she wants me out of her life. That she does not want this friendship. Because I asked her to cut someone some slack. I find it ridiculous how far she has gone with all this. And I realised that she's right; we can't be friends anymore. But not because of me, it's because of all that she has done since the msg I sent her. The hurtful msgs, the deleting of all my photos & all the mean comments. I don't think it's fair. But I find that I no longer should feel so bad. Because I have tried, & she has done nothing but destroy the relationship more & more with all her antics.


I need to move on. Even if I am upset, I still need to do my job as a mother & daughter. One day, this hurt will fade. Five years from now, this incident will be just a silly memory. This is just the grieving stage. I'll be fine.

If I could, I wouldn't care so much. If I could. Then it wouldn't hurt like this.

The one after the big quarrel

I saw another comment which hurt again...it implied that I never was there for her, that she listened to all my ranting,raving & stuff. Raving is such a funny word to use. When I read the comment I was upset & hurt. Now that I am typing it down, it actually is funny! Raving maniac! That's me. Haha.


It's so blown out of proportion. Come to think of it. We are both married & coming thirty in a few more years. I've got a kid. Why then are we quarreling like sec school kids?


I don't know. Sigh. I don't think I wanna think bout it anymore. Been quite mean to Kate & hubs today. With every comment I see on facebook, it just hurts a little less. Yet, I am dreading to see what else she will say to me indirectly. I really thought I meant a little more. Apparently not.

The one with all the hurt

Kate's birthday party is over...& instead of happy memories, I end up being so hurt.

I stood up for a friend, which I should have a long time ago. It was pretty hard for me to decide to do so since I kinda knew that things may very well go down the drain, or be quite unpleasant. I thought bout it, & decided that I had to try to do what's right & not what works in my favor. I thought friendships, once forged, could last through anything, unless of course, you sleep with your friend's husband or something along those lines.

Apparently not. You know what hurts most? I think it's the fact that the person keeps msging me mean, hurtful stuff bout trust & not knowing me at all & all that shit. I put up with it, thinking that it's just spiteful stuff. I have got a bad temper too. But I chose to keep quiet & walk away, not msging back til I feel better. Thinking that things would blow over.

Nope. I think I know the person too well. "Cross" her in any way, she never forgives. What she said really hurts. "You don't need enemies with friends like that" Excuse me? All I did was stand up for someone. What accusations? What trust? You are making a mountain out of a molehill. If this friendship really can't withstand anything, fine. If you wanna "break up" the friendship, fine. But why keep using words to hurt and break others? You know jolly well how much you mean to me, what could hurt me & you are using it against me. & I think that it is vicious & cruel & mean. Am I suprised? Actually, no. It is what I saw you do to others before. Of course, being on the receiving end isn't nice. Am I gonna stoop to your level? Nope. I am not gonna be spiteful. You mean a lot. But this probably should have happened long ago.

Because I was so hurt, I didn't attend to Kate when she cried & threw my tantrum at hubs. After going down for a smoke, Kate was still crying so I went up, still sobbing & took Kate. Hubs ignored me & went for his smoke. When he came back, he saw the comments & messages & came up to comfort me. That meant so much because I think he doesn't see what is the big deal, which hurt me too.

I hate this. This feeling that I have lost such a big part of my life. I don't think I did anything wrong, so no apology is gonna come from me. I maintain my stand that if a person is out of your life, leave her alone. Don't spread rumors. Or do other stuff. Gossiping bout others is fun, but it can be so cruel too. I won't say sorry, and I never did accuse anyone. I stated my stand, the facts to who I thought could handle it graciously. Instead, what I get is a whole load of hurtful, spiteful remarks bout the friendship we never had, how we don't know each other, how we can't be friends anymore, blah blah blah. Sigh. I don't know which I am more, sad or pissed off.

I only know that sometimes, you have to do what is right. & put up with all the comments that others have. Whether I do it right or wrong, people will always say alot of things anyway. Even friends. So I rather do it right, & lose a friendship, then do it wrong again, & feel guilty to another friend. Whatever. I hope the hurt fades soon. It feels like Celia all over again. I just don't get it why people choose to push and piss off the people who love them as they are. I don't get it, really. But it doesn't matter anymore. It really doesn't. I feel so alone now. I really do.

The one with a near heart attack

I nearly had a heart attack when I tried to access my hard disk just now. My com read it as empty. And all my digital scrapbook elements were in it!


Thank God it was just a mistake.


I'm not taking anymore chances; I'm gonna burn all my things to a dvd. Now.


Was so angry with Kate last night. She woke up at 3plus in the morning & played til 6 plus before deciding she should go back to bed. And after not sleeping for most of the night before, you would expect her to sleep in late. She woke up at 9am. Sigh.


That little rascal fell twice today while trying to climb up. Kids really do have a stuff or two to teach us. Never give up - after crying, they get back to climbing yet again. Haha.


I'm supposed to pack for the chalet. But I'm so lazy, just wanna sit here & listen to music & blog bout nothing. & now des & I are chatting on MSN, ridiculous right?! (He's in his room, me in dining room)


We are discussing something very important - music genres. Haha! He's explaining the meaning of indie to me. And he makes more sense than alot of those sales people at music stores. He's now officially my dictionary. He knows alot of stuff le! Everytime when we are watching tv & I ask dad what is that showing or what this word means, des would be the one with the answer, haha.


I cannot stand our conversation-must save it!


MariA says:



and im so very confused bout the genre already. pop-indie, indie-rock, sigh.


desmonde says:


indie means independant.. they dun have big labels behind them. (probably like Mads Langer), pop is like popular tunes.. folk is folksy lor. i like folksy.


MariA says:


Ic...


MariA says:


i guess it makes it slightly better.


MariA says:


i mean your explanation


MariA says:


so wat is the script


desmonde says:


indie-pop i think.


desmonde says:


(but the indie term is changing now.. most ppl dun get it so they relegate it to alternative.. which is hard to listen to. but actually indie must be termed with a proper genre. like indie-pop, indie-rock.)


MariA says:


oh! i also tot it's alternative


MariA says:


then what exactly is alternative?


MariA says:


you should work in a music store, you make more sense than the last few people i spoke to- all working at music stores


desmonde says:


alternative is just harder to listen to then pop.. i think it has to do with the music writing, like the chords they use..






yea, i think i should. but ppl are abusing these labels so my version (which i believe to be more accurate) might not hold for long. it's like an apple turning into an orange because ppl keep saying it's an orange.


desmonde says:


you know. haha


MariA says:


hahahaha

Get together tonight

Ooh, I absolutely lurrve this song!

Get Together Tonight by Adam Kling. It's featured on Star World, monday night laughs theme song. It's soooooo hard to find! Gosh.

Go youtube it...you gotta listen to it!

*sings loudly* Give me one reason if you've got one reason
Said there ain't no reason that we shouldn't get together tonight.

I didn't know that I did not enable comments on my blog til debs told me the other day...haha.


I woke up to find Kate with the contents of a packet of tissue all around her while she busied herself "mopping" the floor. As I watched her, she proceeded to lift up the mattress from the floor and started "mopping" under it too, haha!


She can call "ahhh maaa" now! So funny. This morning, my mom teased her by saying, "Call me first then I bring you downstairs to the living room". Kate didn't call her so mom just picked her up & Kate said "Ahhh maaa!" in the sweetest voice, so cute los!


Can't stand her & her funny antics...