babymittens

Yesterday was the worse sick day ever in a long time. I got a cold because of Kate dearest, she started coughing and all first, so on tuesday morning I woke up feeling horrid. The dry cough and painful throat was horrible enough and yesterday I woke up feeling asthmatic. I didn't wanna see the doctor for a cough initially but yesterday I gave in, because I just couldn't function properly. Every movement felt too much, and it was impossible to rest with Kate around. I would much rather have a high fever than this; not being able to breathe really takes a toll on everything. Carrying her just leaves me breathless, literally. Even just brushing her teeth felt so impossible for me.




So I went to see the doctor who gave me a long lecture about smoking and having a history of asthma. Haha. I kinda feel like I'm suicidal or something, still smoking throughout yesterday and today. Every puff I take, I feel my chest tightening that little bit more. So I told myself this; I have been wanting to quit for the past year. Why not now? If I can go without cigarettes for the week, I'll quit. So I smoked a record of two sticks today. Very proud of myself. Soon, I can stop worrying about the smoke and nicotine-tainted stuff affecting little Kate. Third-hand smoke affects children the most. And this asthmatic episode reminded me of how I went through when I was young, having to puff and pant every morning when I climbed the stairs to the classroom in primary school. Feeling like I could just faint any moment. I don't want that to ever happen to Kate.