The one with the beautiful video

I'm very happy today!


Met up with Fanni & Yvonne & had a lovely dinner at TCC. It was really great for me, since I didn't really think bout Stella.


Fanni presented me with another present for Kate today; a homemade video, compiling all Kate's pictures from birth. It was beautiful! & very touching to me. She decorated the cd cover with sequins and all, which is so what I'm into nowadays; self-creation thingys! This is what she said in the video...


"Hello Mama, Papa & baby Kate! Foremost, a very happy birthday to little rugrat Kate, who've since grew so much, from the 1st time I saw her. She's been an absolute darling to all of us...no doubt about that!


Just wanna let you guys know that you've done a really great job as a parent! Showerin' unconditional love, giving up lotsa things...
Whatever stress your going thru Mama, hang in there! I'm always just a call away should you need a listening ear...


I honestly have no idea how it feels like to be a parent, & I reckon it isn't easy... But looking at the Han family never fails to make me go green & I tell myself that someday, I hope I'd have a family like yours too..=)"


You know, when I read that second paragraph, I almost cried. It just felt nice to know that someone is acknowledging all the hard work & love you have put into raising your little one...& the fact that a friend is also affirming the fact that she's just a call away. It was something I really needed to hear right now. It's strange how comfort comes in the strangest & least expected ways. The other day, just after my quarrel with Stella, Ken's cousin also chatted with me on msn & said she was just a call away, should I need her. It meant alot to me...


As I look at a sound asleep Kate, it boggles my mind how time flies. She's one today... & a year ago this time, hubs & I were in the delivery suite, waiting anxiously to meet her for the first time. I remember the initial stage where I thought I would never make it through, that I would just die from all the stress & anxiety of being a new parent; every little thing scared me, & even breathing seemed so tough & strange for the little newborn. I thought I would never cope...& even refused to let mom go anywhere. Just wanted her to be with me & make sure everything was ok. I remember that hubs & I didn't dare to be alone with Kate for long, for fear that should she cry, we would not be able to cope. Whenever mom was around, we felt better, like we could breathe easy - backup's there. Dad was right. He told me one day, that I'll learn to cope by and by...


I really do feel so blessed. Despite all the frustrations of giving up my freedom, & all the times I feel like I would go insane, she's really brought alot of joy to us & I know I wouldn't exchange her for anything. Whenever she hugs or kisses me, I feel like the most important person in the world. Just yesterday morning, while I was sleeping, she crawled over to me, spit her pacifier on my face,(which woke me up!) & planted a huge kiss on me. When I looked at her, she gave me a big grin, & I remember feeling so loved, because it was such a random act of love, but means so much! It's like, she woke up, saw that I was still sleeping, & came over to kiss me just because.. if you get what I mean.


I feel so very blessed. I may not have a lot, not in quantity anyway, & perhaps I don't feel understood all the time (who does, anyway?) but I sure am surrounded by people who loves me. & I'm glad. It gets so hard sometimes...