The one about parenting

Yesterday, Jo and I brought Kate for a babies & children movie event, organised by a mummy whose shop I patronised before. It was a private screening of "Shrek forever after" & for parents who have children and have not been to a movie for a long time because of fear that the babies or toddlers will act up and cry. Before the movie screening, there was a magic show for the kids and also balloon sculpting and boy, Kate had a blast there! She brought back a balloon flower wristlet, 2 helium balloons and a marshmallow lollipop. She ran around for hours and bugged the balloon guy for more balloons. She fell asleep during the first half of the movie and then woke up to watch the other half quietly in my lap. I was initially a little hesitant to bring her for the event, since she's too young to understand or remember but I'm glad I did. She most definately enjoyed herself. Pictures will be uploaded once I get them from Jo...


The previous evening, we brought Kate to her cousin Seth's first birthday party too, at East Coast. Kate spent 4 hours running about and playing and she had a tremendous time there. It was fun to see her play with her cousin Shean and watch her interact with the other adults there. Kate's still a little shy, but she's getting better at socialising now. Heh.


As a parent, I get to bring her to the playground or some place else and just play "kid" for the day. I love the part where I get to do the kiddish stuff with her, or re-visit childhood memories with a simpler mindset.


Today on the papers, I read some articles about spoilt children and whether today's parents are slaves to their children. I do hope that Kate will grow up well. Even now I find her behaviour a little spoilt. She loves to scream when excited or angry... And I hate screaming children. I mean, in excitement, its still acceptable. Kids being kids cannot contain their excitement so for that, I will just remind her gently. But I really cannot accept her screaming in anger, though it's also another emotion. I just feel that negative behaviour should not be tolerated. Or encouraged, which is worse! I firmly believe that a child should be disclipined from young. Loving and doting on the child is only natural, but it shouldn't mean indulging them! If the child's parents says "No.", it means "No." And everyone around should sing the same song, so that the kid learns. If anyone should disagree with certain parenting methods, its fine to discuss it later without the kid, but never before the kid. But anyway, I have learnt not to judge too quickly, or say never ever. Judging too quickly; I used to look at screaming kids and think what kind of parenting they had. But Kate screams too, and I stop her all the time. Haha. Saying never ever; I promised myself never ever to give my baby a pacifier, but in the end I did, and I can't bear to take it away from her at night. Its like her security blanket. So yea... haha.


You know, I can't stand it when Kate steals a look at me everytime she does something which she knows is a no-no. I find it so darn cute and sometimes even have to bite down on my lip so I will not smile.


I also read on Yahoo! news that a toddler was hit by a bus... His parents must be worried sick now. I hope everything will be fine for them. Dad said that the parents should be jailed for negligence. I retorted that we are always too quick to judge. Toddlers run way too fast! I would know - I nearly lost Kate a few times while shopping. And not because I was too busy shopping; I always am so distracted by her, I usually give up and entertain her instead. She always run away so quickly and sometimes she manages to give me the slip. Mom then said it was dad's way of telling me to be careful with Kate, which I knew, of course. My daddykins like to say things in his strange harsh way. (I'm not too sure how to explain this in words)


But I'm grateful for my parents, really! They taught me alot about parenting, not just when I became a mother. But I remember how they used to parent me when younger. They were so strict I ran away a few times. And eventually they changed their parenting style because of me. I always knew that it was really hard on them. And I always felt so loved by them because of that. So as a fairly new parent, I know that I'm still learning and always will be...it will be a never-ending process.

Sometimes I feel so disheartened. I feel very misunderstood most of the time. It matters alot to me, but I know its no use. When people around has already condemned you as so. I couldn't help but call Jo while crying, something I have not done in the longest time. I wasn't so upset, but I needed to cry for awhile. And it felt strangely good. Usually my tears are angry, frustrated ones. For those, I don't feel a need to call anyone. But this time, they were heart-broken ones, thus the need to call Jo. I told Jo that this proves that I am not devoid of other emotions other than anger, contrary to what some might think.


Well, tough.

Spanish...

I stayed up the whole night, trying to figure out the 3rd chapter in my textbook. I skipped the last class since I wasn't feeling too good & I kinda regret it. I figure I missed out on some important stuff. So I tried to read through the 3rd chapter to see what I missed out. Yikes, everything is in spanish so I had to flip through the dictionary the whole time. (Good thing hubs bought me one the other day.) Fanni didn't go either, and she doesn't have a dictionary so I think she won't be able to revise.


Anyway, though it was hard, I kinda enjoyed myself studying. "Como estas?" means how are you? "Muy bien!" means fine.


Anyway the numbers got me all confused.
0 = Cero
1 = Uno
11 = Once
and the list goes on with many foreign words.

Then there's
20 = Veinte
30 = Treinta
and so on...

Then
25 = Veintacinco
But 35 is Treinta y cinco

Oh bother!


Plus the alphabet is almost the same as the english ABCs but almost every letter has a different sound.


Oh bother!!


I think no matter what, I must go to class every week! No more skipping even if ill...I hope I don't get ill again!


So anyway little Kate has been really busy terrorising us everyday. And being with her is such fun now, when she's learning to talk and do things by herself. The other day when she woke up at my in-laws place, she went to the room door & started knocking so someone will come open the door. When no one did, she came up to me & started to ask me; "Open this!" I acted blur and asked her what she wanted me to open. She tilted her head & thought, (no kidding! she tilted her head!) and replied me, "Knock knock!" Haha!


And not too long ago, she saw a dead cockroach on the floor and she exclaimed "Fish!" *Bends over laughing*


Here are some pictures of her, having a blast at her godma's workplace. (Jo works at a childcare.) Check out her boots, which Yvonne bought back from Shanghai. Love the boots! Kate looks so cute in them! And they go so well with everything!

Been awhile...

I know I have not updated in awhile...enjoying lazing around with Kate & doing other stuff.


Anyway, I have been thinking bout putting Kate in a childcare centre. After settling her, I'll be on the search for a full-time job. It's been quite an abrupt change of plans. I actually intended to do part-time, and even thought of staying home a little longer. Many plans actually, but changed them all. A few reasons for doing so. The main one; for my dad & my home. Dad has already retired but signed a one year contract with his company. But his job is getting harder & more tiring. He didn't say anything but I can see. His contract is ending in october, so Kate will be placed in a childcare around that time. Our new home will be completed in 2012, & I am a little worried bout the renovation cost and furnishings. So I really wanna get back to work. I just went on careers.marinabaysands.com and I'm quite excited because I think there are a few suitable positions for me. Mainly customer care related. I don't dare apply yet, since I don't know when I can start. But at least I'm motivated. I don't know if I should get shift work, in the tourism line, its mainly that. But I'm worried for Kate. So... Never mind. Come september, I'm sure things will work out, by God's grace. =)


The other night, hubs and I talked before we went to bed, and it felt really nice since its been forever since we did that. Sure, we talk. But I think that talk was a meaningful one. It felt nice to feel like a couple once again. We were talking bout how our other friends with kids get to go out on dates and even holidays without baby. And that led to me telling him I know he also sacrificed alot for us. We both have not been out on dates for the past year, & he hasn't gone out with his friends in a long time. And that night, he revealed why; because he didn't want me to feel even worse to be home alone with Kate while he's out having fun. I thought that was awfully sweet. Honestly I feel that both hubs and I have come such a long way. And in the past, we both sacrificed alot for each other. Now we sacrifice for our little one. I used to doubt that the distance between us will ever be healed. But after that night, I believe that it will be, once we have more time to ourselves, when Kate is older. And it's something I'm looking forward to. For now, I'll accept us the way we are. I remember hubs sister telling us that when a couple has a kid, people around should be looking at how they both treat their kid, and not how they treat each other anymore, as having a kid changes everything. That really helped put alot in perspective for me. I didn't feel that bad bout us after that.


Here's Kate saying "Cheese!" for the camera...

The one with me officially mad

So I'm mad.


In Australia, I discovered the joy of flipping through a scrapbooking magazine. They are aplenty there & sells at a reasonable price. I love flipping through the pages & getting inspiration from the mags.


Back in Singapore, I tried looking for similiar mags, but they are kinda hard to find. So when Ikea offered 15% discount off craft magazines subscription, I asked hubs if I could subscribe. To my delight, (not so suprisingly though, since he always indulges me) he agreed to it. So I have placed my order & sent a cheque over for payment. To my disappointment, 3 weeks later, no confirmation has been done. First no easy payment online, payment has to be done by cheque. By snail mail no less. Then the title I wanted has ceased publication. So I chose another 2 more. Same problem, publication ceased. So I got another 3 alternatives. Mind you, I am getting rather desperate here. I want my magazine! And now, no reply. *#@#@!!


I am officially mad. I mean...if publication has ceased, last year, why is the title still featured on your webpage? And since you are offering goods & services, then the onus is on you to provide accurate, up-to-date information! Not forgetting prompt replies to enquiries. Some companies just don't get it, do they?!


Anyway, I decided to give that lady a day's time to get back to me. After which, I'm calling her direct & I don't think I'll go easy on her then. I don't like being mean & nasty, but sometimes you gotta be so to get things done. Why like that?


K. Enough of that. On to happier stuff. Been busy with monster Kate & spanish lessons. Finally my class has started & every tuesday night its been fun learning the new exotic language. It's hard though, but it's been exciting. Pictures & more updates soon. Bout Kate, of course!

The one with updates

I am so head over heels in love with this song..."Down" by Jason Walker. Love the version that features Molly Reed in it. I first heard it in the series "The Vampire Diaries" which was introduced to me by Des, my brother. Hubs & I are so in love with the series! Watch it - the first two episodes are a bit draggy but after that the plot's so compelling, you find yourself so immersed in it! I think that this is way better than Twilight, but if I am not wrong, the series is abit different from the book.


Anyway...I'm not too sure why I love the song but somehow I can relate to the lyrics. I just feel...this emptiness inside me. It's like I'm...incomplete. Don't wanna elaborate on that too much. Anyway, I'm not sure why I feel that way.


Kate the little monster, has finally recovered from a week's fever. The worst she's ever had. I have such a great thing to share bout God's love for us though. After I brought Kate to the doctor, she got better for a day. But the very next day, she was feverish again. This time, her fever was 38plus the whole day. 38plus degrees wasn't exactly high, but I was a little anxious since it didn't come down despite her taking the fever medicine. So I asked Yvonne if I should go to the hospital since no kid's clinic was open on a sunday night. She told me to get it checked out so immediately I prepared to go. Before I left, I checked Kate's temperature once again, 38.4 degrees. Dad didn't want me to go though, he asked me if it was necessary, which kinda made me feel a little silly & a little mad at him. Could I be overreacting? Dad then suggested that we went to a normal clinic first, so I called hubs to ask his opinion. Hubs decided that we should just bring her to the hospital since that clinic gave us the inappropriate age group medicine before(They gave Kate medicine that should not be taken for her age). Mom followed me & hubs met us there after work. When there, the nurse measured her temperature & I didn't notice the reading. But I saw on Kate's form later that it read 39.9degrees. Mom & I were suprised and I thought they made a mistake.


When we saw the doc, she gave us another dose of fever medicine to bring Kate's fever down, & told us Kate had to take a blood test & x-ray. At that point, mom told me that dad didn't want us to bring Kate to hospital as he was afraid that the doctors might make her go take all kinds of test etc, & I felt better. I thought he was just thinking that I was overreacting - instead, he was worried for Kate. & at that point, when I knew she had to go through an x-ray & all, I was also a little mad at myself. I was thinking if I made the right decision. I didn't want to expose Kate to the harmful radiations of the x-ray. While we were waiting for the results, I kept feeling terrible. But soon, the doc saw us again & this time, Kate's temperature read 38plus still. So the doc recommended that we give Kate another med, a different one, & we were to stay til her fever goes away. Everything was cleared but her fever was not gone yet, despite the medicine. So we stayed & after another hour, finally Kate's fever went down. Off we went, headed for home.


The next morning, I took Kate's temperature. It was normal, but I felt that Kate was a bit hot to the touch. Puzzled, I sat there thinking. Suddenly, I remembered that a few months ago, my themometer had displayed the low battery sign. I leaped up, changed the batteries & re-took her temperature. This time, it indicated 38 degrees. Then it hit me -- all this while, her temperature was alot higher than it read on the thermometer! I was careless & did not read the instructions manual properly. When the battery is low & does not read temperature properly, it will display an icon, which I failed to recognise since I didn't read the manual. *Hits palm on forehead!*


I couldn't help but be in awe, at His apparent love for her... I usually don't make a big deal out of her 38plus fever, since I know children's fever are usually high. Hubs don't usually make a decision, he always leaves it to me. And that day, God worked in His own wondrous ways & got us to bring her to the hospital. It scares me to think how high her fever actually was. That whole day she was hot & clingy to me, her eyes were teary & she got up a few times in her sleep to talk to me which doesn't happen. She usually gets up & say "Hi!" then go back to sleep -- she doesn't get up to talk rubbish. I guess it was the high fever. And I'm so thankful to God. =)


I remembered just the week before Kate was so sick, there was one night when hubs & I decided to stay another night at his mom's place, which was not our usual practice. The next morning, my mom-in-law told us she couldn't breathe properly the whole night, so we brought her straight to the hospital. I was so glad then, at the way He works. These two incidents has re-affirmed His love for me & the people around me, & though I know I have not been to church in a long time, nor do I behave in the best way that I should, it lifts my heart to know that He's still there for me. I know to the non-christians, this will sound weird, & to the christians, it may sound like I'm a hypocrite or something, I don't know. I guess it doesn't really matter though, does it? As long as I am aware of what He has done for me & my family.


*God's ways are not ours, we just have to trust him!*

The one with little acts of love

Dear baby Kate has been patting us to sleep alot recently. The other night while I was pretending to sleep, she started patting me & singing. When I turned to her and asked her if she was patting me to sleep, she said yes & smiled. Imagine that. I'm pretending to sleep so she would fall asleep & there she is, patting ME to sleep. Haha!
Earlier, while waiting for her to sleep, I was lying beside her when she cupped my chin in one little palm, & gave me her serious adoring look. & I thought to myself, "This is blissfulness. Having your little one shower you in her little acts of love."